Whose Identity Have You Taken On?

In Light of the tragic loss of beloved Comedian and Actor, Robin Williams, I wanted to shed some light on Identity.

My first love with Robin Williams began in the early 80's with Mork and Mindy.  That show had such an influence on me, I even styled my hair in "Mindy Tails" and donned my only pair of Mork suspenders with my Levi jeans.  Although famous in Hollywood, Robin Williams appeared to most as, relate-able, other than his obvious fame, he was like us.   Maybe that is why his death hits home with so many.

When I heard of his sudden death, I was like most of you.  Shocked, dismayed and genuinely grieved that we lost one of the greats.  When I heard it was suicide, I was devastated.  No life should ever be lost to an identity crisis, for we are all made for greatness and purpose.

As much as I hate to admit it, I have struggled with identity, at times, I still do.  Exactly "Who am I"?  We live in a world where we are basically "marketed" too on how we should look, speak, eat, socialize, act, purchase and love.  We are told as children that we can be anything we want to be, do anything we want to do.  As we begin to enter young adulthood we are told "be careful, you can't do that, you need to provide, you must get an education, you need a solid job, that's too risky", and the list goes on.  I don't think it's anyone's fault, it's human nature to follow fear, but fear is where the dreams stop and everyday after, we begin to lose a little more of ourselves and the very dreams and passions God created us for.

I spent the last year attending Charis Bible College.  I moved my family half way across the country to attend this bible college.  We left everything that was safe and comfortable.  Very few people understood the desire on my heart, very few were able to accept it.  I certainly could understand their concern, but I was not willing to live in the walls of conformity any more. I knew God had a plan and purpose on my life and I wanted to follow His will.  I can't say it was an easy transition, there was a lot of pain involved for people I love and care about, and being the "people pleas-er" that I am, it played a toll on me. Yet the call to go and follow God's call mattered more to me this time.

As I sat in on lecture after lecture, speaker after speaker, I repeatedly heard the phrase "who You are in Christ".  I can't tell you how many times I have heard this and quite frankly, I was sick and tired of hearing it because no preacher, teacher or person I knew or heard ever took the time to explain what that meant. Here I was in my 4th month of first year bible school and I still didn't know who I was in Christ and I was  raised Christian!  That frustration turned into a mission and I spent my Christmas Break reading through 4 books AND the bible to discover this statement, that to me, was more of a religious quote than truth. I have discovered much in the last 7 months and I am still learning through His grace everyday.

So how does my struggle with identity relate to Robin Williams?  Because honestly, I am just like him, I am just like you!  I live in the same world you do, life happens to me, my body has failed me, people have failed me, the world has failed me...but through it all, I know God has never failed me.  But there were many times when I thought he had, because I did not understand who I was.  My identity was in what the world had told me not in who God created me to be, not in who He say's I am...daughter of the King of Kings, child of the most high God, Redeemed from every mistake I have made or will make, beloved to him even in my weakest moments, lover of my heart, delighted in me just being me.

I am still on the journey of discovering all that I am "in Christ".  It's a journey AND a destination and one that God is very patient with.  It matters more to Him that I just come to him, trust Him and confide in Him then get it all right.  What "pleases" him, is me, JUST ME, nothing more, nothing less...just me, raw and broken but perfect in his Son.

When we struggle with depression, we have lost sight of who we really are.  We have become more concerned with what others think of us, of pleasing those around us, even those that truly don't care about us, than running to the one that created us, that know's the exact number of hairs on our head and begs us to come to Him because He has the answer.

I have decided in the end, that the reason "Who I am in Christ" was never explained is because it's not something you can necessarily teach, it's something you discover.  When you get to the end of yourself, you can make a choice to end it or choose to find out the truth.  How I wish Robin Williams would have found the truth in those dark moments....because He had an amazing calling on His life, he was gifted with talents and abilities that blessed all of us beyond measure and he made an impact and a difference in the world and it was cut too short.

Thank You Robin for the laughs and the cries, your physical presence will be dearly missed, we were all blessed beyond measure through your talents, gifts, sorrows and struggles.  You will forever be in our hearts as the great "Peter Pan".

***If you struggle with depression, one, seek help, you were never meant to do this journey alone and there are sisters and brothers in Christ that love you and want to help you.  Second, if your on a mission to seek out these answers, check out the Book of Ephesians in the Bible ( I love it in The Message Bible, spot on!)